The Seven Habits of Highly Defective Dating
By it's very definition, dating is about two people focusing on each other. Unfortunately, in most cases the rest of the world fades into the background. If you've ever felt like a third wheel when hanging out with two friends who are dating each other, you know how true this is.
Now, in a relationship where both people are prepared to move toward marriage, giving the relationship primary attention is not wrong. To make a wise choice about marrying someone, it's important to focus on getting to know that person well. But even in serious relationships it's not wise to isolate yourself from others.
For people who are't ready for commitment, this dating tendency can be especially detrimental. Christians need to take this seriously. Why? First, because when we allow one relationship to crowd out others, we lose perspective. In Proverbs 15:22 we read:
Of course we can make this same mistake in any number of non-romantic relationships. But we face this problem more often in dating relationships because these relationships involve our hears and emotions. And because dating focuses on the plans of a couple, major issues related to marriage, family and faith are likely at stake.
And if two people haven't defined their level of commitment, they're particularly at risk. You put yourself in a precasious position if you isolate yourself from the people who love and support you because you dive wholeheartedly into a romantic relationship not grounded in commitment. In Passion & Purity, Elisabeth Elliot states:
Perhaps you've done a similar thing. Or maybe you know the pain and frustration of being put on the back burner for the sake of a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend. The exclusive attention so oftne expected in dating relationships has a tendedncy to isolate them from the friends who love them most, family members who know them best and sadly, even God, whose will is far more important than any romantic interest
Now, in a relationship where both people are prepared to move toward marriage, giving the relationship primary attention is not wrong. To make a wise choice about marrying someone, it's important to focus on getting to know that person well. But even in serious relationships it's not wise to isolate yourself from others.
For people who are't ready for commitment, this dating tendency can be especially detrimental. Christians need to take this seriously. Why? First, because when we allow one relationship to crowd out others, we lose perspective. In Proverbs 15:22 we read:
22 Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established.If we make our decisions about life based solely on the influence of one relationship, we'll probably make poor judgements.
Of course we can make this same mistake in any number of non-romantic relationships. But we face this problem more often in dating relationships because these relationships involve our hears and emotions. And because dating focuses on the plans of a couple, major issues related to marriage, family and faith are likely at stake.
And if two people haven't defined their level of commitment, they're particularly at risk. You put yourself in a precasious position if you isolate yourself from the people who love and support you because you dive wholeheartedly into a romantic relationship not grounded in commitment. In Passion & Purity, Elisabeth Elliot states:
Unless a man is prepared to ask a woman to be his wife, what right has he to claim her exclusive attention? Unless she has been asked to marry him, why would a sensible woman promise any man her exclusive attention?How many people end dating relationships only to find their ties to other friends severed?
Perhaps you've done a similar thing. Or maybe you know the pain and frustration of being put on the back burner for the sake of a friend's boyfriend or girlfriend. The exclusive attention so oftne expected in dating relationships has a tendedncy to isolate them from the friends who love them most, family members who know them best and sadly, even God, whose will is far more important than any romantic interest
No comments:
Post a Comment