The Seven Habits of Highly Defective Dating
When we consider that our culture as a whole regards the words love and sex as interchangeable,we shouldn't be surprise that many dating relationships make physical attraction and sexual intimacy for true love. Sadly, many Christian dating relationships reflect this false mindset.
When we examine the progression of most relationships, we can clearly see how dating can encourage this substitution. First, as we pointed out, most often, dating isn't a pursuit of commitment. For this reason, many dating relationships begin with physical attraction. The underlying attitude is that a person's primary value comes from the way he/she looks. Even before a kiss has been given, the physical, sensual aspect of the relationship has taken priority.
Next, the relationship often steamrolls toward intimacy. Because dating doesn't require commitment, the two people involved allow the needs and passions of the moment to take center stage. The couple doesn't look at each other as possible life partners or weigh the responsibilties of marriage. Instead, they focus on the demands of the present. And with that mindset, the couple's physical relationship can easily become the focus.
Sadly, many couples gauge the seriousness of their relationship by the level of their physical involvement. Two people who date each other want to feel that they're special to each other, and they can concretely express this through physical intimacy. They begin to distinguish their special relationship through hand-holding, kissing and everything else that follows. For this reason, many people believe that going out with someone means physical involvement.
Focusing on the physical is plainly sinful. God demands sexual purity. And He does this because He is holy. He also does it for our own good. Physical involvement can distort two people's perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices. God also knows we'll carry the memories of our past physical involvements into marriage. He doesn't want us to live with guilt and regret.
Physical involvement can make two people feel close. But if many people really examined the focus of their dating relationships, they'd probably discover that all they have in common is lust.
When we examine the progression of most relationships, we can clearly see how dating can encourage this substitution. First, as we pointed out, most often, dating isn't a pursuit of commitment. For this reason, many dating relationships begin with physical attraction. The underlying attitude is that a person's primary value comes from the way he/she looks. Even before a kiss has been given, the physical, sensual aspect of the relationship has taken priority.
Next, the relationship often steamrolls toward intimacy. Because dating doesn't require commitment, the two people involved allow the needs and passions of the moment to take center stage. The couple doesn't look at each other as possible life partners or weigh the responsibilties of marriage. Instead, they focus on the demands of the present. And with that mindset, the couple's physical relationship can easily become the focus.
Sadly, many couples gauge the seriousness of their relationship by the level of their physical involvement. Two people who date each other want to feel that they're special to each other, and they can concretely express this through physical intimacy. They begin to distinguish their special relationship through hand-holding, kissing and everything else that follows. For this reason, many people believe that going out with someone means physical involvement.
Focusing on the physical is plainly sinful. God demands sexual purity. And He does this because He is holy. He also does it for our own good. Physical involvement can distort two people's perspective of each other and lead to unwise choices. God also knows we'll carry the memories of our past physical involvements into marriage. He doesn't want us to live with guilt and regret.
Physical involvement can make two people feel close. But if many people really examined the focus of their dating relationships, they'd probably discover that all they have in common is lust.
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