The Seven Habits of Highly Defective Dating
One-on-one dating has the tendency to move a guy and girl beyond friendship and toward romance too quickly.
Have you ever known someone who worried about dating a longtime friend? If you have, you probably heard that person say something like this: "He asked me out, but I'm just afraid that if wwe start actually dating it will change out friendship." What is this person really saying? People make statements like that, whether they realize it or not, recognize that dating encourages romnatic expectations. In a true friendship you don't feel pressured by knowing that you 'like' the other person or that he or she 'likes' you back. You feel free to be yourself and do things together without spending three hours in front of the mirror making sure you look perfect.
CS Lewis describes friendship as two people walking side by side toward a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together. Skipping the commonality stage by going on one-on-one dates focuses on the 'coupleness'.
In dating, romantic attraction is often the cornerstone of the relationship. The premise of dating is "I'm attracted to you; therefore, let's get to know each other." The premise of friendship, on the other hand, is "We're interested in the same things; let's enjoy these common interests together." If romantic attraction forms after developing a friendship, it's an added bonus.
Have you ever known someone who worried about dating a longtime friend? If you have, you probably heard that person say something like this: "He asked me out, but I'm just afraid that if wwe start actually dating it will change out friendship." What is this person really saying? People make statements like that, whether they realize it or not, recognize that dating encourages romnatic expectations. In a true friendship you don't feel pressured by knowing that you 'like' the other person or that he or she 'likes' you back. You feel free to be yourself and do things together without spending three hours in front of the mirror making sure you look perfect.
CS Lewis describes friendship as two people walking side by side toward a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together. Skipping the commonality stage by going on one-on-one dates focuses on the 'coupleness'.
In dating, romantic attraction is often the cornerstone of the relationship. The premise of dating is "I'm attracted to you; therefore, let's get to know each other." The premise of friendship, on the other hand, is "We're interested in the same things; let's enjoy these common interests together." If romantic attraction forms after developing a friendship, it's an added bonus.
Intimacy without commitment is defrauding. Intimacy without friendship is superficial. A relationship based solely on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last only as long as the feelings last
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